Who decides what and how to do in your own life? Upon whom does it depend on how we live our lives? The answer seems obvious: we decide for ourselves. However, often, even when we feel unsatisfied with our life, we don't see the opportunity to break away from this despair. We are so deeply entangled in dependence on circumstances, people, and things that returning to oneself, understanding what we truly desire, and starting to live by our rules seems an insurmountable task.
For instance, dissatisfaction with one's job, position, or salary is commonly encountered. This usually happens when an individual takes the path of least resistance. Specifically, they chose education or applied for a job that was easier, cheaper, or safer, rather than persistently striving for success in their dream job, regardless of the obstacles. It's even worse when the job is chosen based on what's imposed by the environment, status, or duty.
The notion that you should act "as you should" rather than as you want is one of the most common and destructive. Therefore, I hasten to remind you that your primary obligation lies only with yourself. Moreover, you can't make someone else happy if you're unhappy.
I wish for more and more people on our planet to be happy. Thus, I present to you 5 rules. By following these, you can shape your life in a way that you won't have future regrets.
First Rule
We are the sole owners of our life. Never allow others to dictate how, what, and when to do things. Managing your life means you can take information from others (parents, spouse, children), but the final decision remains yours. Consequently, the choice of career, relationships, beliefs, and lifestyle is entirely up to you and no one else. It's easy to fall into the trap of dependency when you're unsure about making a decision and let others "help" you. But in reality, you're merely shifting responsibility onto others. How can you control your life without taking responsibility?
Second Rule
Things and money exist for our pleasure and management, not the other way around. There was once a shortage of goods; now we see an abundance. However, regardless of the time we live in, the chase for things or money never stops and blocks the path to what's genuinely important. The thing is, when we cling to material possessions, like property, we stop managing our life. Imagine being asked, "Could you give up 90% of your assets for a chance to achieve your dream?" If it's hard for you to give a quick and definite "yes," it's a clear sign of your strong attachment to things. You'll agree that money can be not only a source of anxiety and endless race but also a means to manage your life.
For example, if you use money to alleviate inconveniences or ensure comfort, education, and development. I want to emphasize that financial freedom doesn't mean the ability to buy everything you wish or live in luxury. It means that money is a tool for you and doesn't distract you from managing your life. But if you live paycheck to paycheck, you're only covering the basic needs based on Maslow's hierarchy, and a higher quality of life remains a distant dream. It's relatively simple to take control of your finances, and you can do it by:
- Saving at least 10% of your income monthly and accumulating a minimum yearly reserve for unforeseen events;
- Allowing yourself more expensive items or entertainment only after your income has grown by the required amount;
- Being ready to decisively reduce your expenses when needed.
Third Rule:
It's in our interest to form relationships only with people we find pleasant and interesting, and to easily end relationships that weigh us down. Nietzsche once said, "Every little step in the realm of free thought and a personally shaped life is always achieved at the price of spiritual and physical suffering."
Your goal should be harmonious and interesting relationships, not just relationships for the sake of it. If your needs (financial or emotional) depend on another person, then you are dependent on that person. Surely, without manifestations of jealousy, demandingness, or obsession, your relationships will be healthier and lighter. This is only possible if you are a whole, independent person, capable of fulfilling your needs independently.
Fourth Rule:
We need to control the incoming information. My wonderful economics teacher used to say, "Don't take information at face value, always doubt...". Think critically! Both words are key here. If you can control your beliefs, you can control your life. "Filter" everything that's presented to your attention. Carefully consider or reject ideas if they don't suit you. If you live by the ideas others throw at you, you're not living your own life; you're following a path determined by someone else.
Fifth Rule:
We always have enough resources to achieve a goal. If at least one person on Earth can do something special, then you're capable of it too. And if someone has succeeded in a particular endeavor, you can too. The question is how much effort you'll need to achieve the same result. The main thing to remember is that everything can be learned! Even something that seems innate, like a musical ear, can be developed. You can be anyone, live anywhere, and your profession and activities don't determine the quality of your life. What truly matters is your perseverance and consistency in directing your creative forces towards sharing your talents and skills with the world. This is indeed your greatest asset. Remember, if you never attempt to do more than you believe you can, you'll never achieve all that you're truly capable of.
Consciously develop your personality, assert your value in the world, and avoid traps where you might lose your individuality. Don't make sacrifices that lead to the loss of the uniqueness of your personality. Be the conductors of your life.
